To know both sides.

:-( I hate this. . . I miss her. . . And I deleted her number again. . . I want to talk to her. But I don't want to bother her. And I know she loves someone else. . . ;-(  I really hate this. . . 

Fasting for 7 days.

So today is my third day of fasting sorta. Eh I like weight 125 when I started, three days ago. Now I'm 121, when I last checked. So If I'm losing like 2 pounds a day. . . . By this Sunday I'll be . . . 119 pounds. . . I think that's a little to much weight to lose. . .

Good things are LOL I'm not hungry any more, I have nice Abs!!! lmao I'll have to gain all my weight back to 135. . . = = = = = = = = = = =  Masssssssss eating can't wait!!!!!!!! I have already set up plans to cook. and out to eat!!!! any one want to join?

The Way I feel, [MV] G.NA - I Miss You Already

 This is How i have been feeling. . . Seems like my heart seems to be always in pain. . . Its really annoying. . I hope, i really Hope it fails on me soon.  If I could only end my own heart. How happy I would of been If i was. . .

I must have more tears than I thought
How could it be like this
I let you go while smiling then
I’m not like other girls
I can’t be too cunning like them
I can’t meet anyone else
Because I can only think of you  You don’t have to listen to my nagging anymore
But you can’t become skinnier than you are now
Please make sure you eat
What should I do ? I keep missing you
I miss being in your arms already
I still like you
Why did we separate ?
Maybe you feel the same way I do
Maybe you’re also crying
I hope you feel pain just like I do
And come back to me again
You must be living like nothing’s happened
I can understand that
In a way, that suits you better
You said I was number one on your speed dial
Over time, it will be filled
by other girlfriend’s numbers
What should I do ? I keep missing you
I miss being in your arms already
I still like you
Why did we separate ?
Maybe you feel the same way I do
Maybe you’re also crying
I hope you feel pain just like I do
And come back to me again
We used to spend the night talking (those stories)
You used to want to be with me always (that promise)
I tried to erase them but it’s not working well
Foolishly, my tears keep coming
Already I want to go find you
You’re starting to forget me already
So why can’t I do the same
No, you’re the same as me
Please tell me that’s the situation
Come back to me, please come back
Stop hurting now
Just one day by my side

Fast to the end?

 Maybe an End?

To start to fast again this time.  Lets see if i can finish seven days. . . Had to see her this weekend? I should just stayed home. . . she looked really cute. . . adorable. . . Sexy. . . I just feel like it should all end. . . And I should leave it at that. . . Should I truly let my self be truly happy?  And stop caring about others? 

I heard that at one point you wanted this to happen. . . but it has not happened yet. . . How long do I need to wait. . . How many years have I been thinking and wanting this. . . Maybe in Seven days I will find out. :-/  

I wonder If she ever got the letter I wrote her?  Yet the pain never seems to stop hurting regarding her.

How annoying, The pain, how it seems to never stop.  Fing feelings. So annoying. . But it really seems like there is nothing,  I'll have to deal with a lot more shit soon, more reason to grow? or more reason to end it all.  I know what she means now, from when she said I'm way to emotional. the pain. . .

Aitakute Aitakute

会いたくて　会いたくて I Miss You, I Miss You Aitakute Aitakute

 

Nishino Kana – I Miss You, I Miss You
Lyrics: Kana Nishino, GIORGIO 13
Music: GIORGIO CANCEMI
I miss you, I miss you so much I’m shaking
The more I think of you the further away you feel
Even if it’s a lie, say to me once more
Like you did that day, “I love you…”
If today was our anniversary
I wonder if we’d spend it together
I’m sure you’ve forgotten all about us
Are you laughing with her?
The words and kindness that you always saved just for me
The smile I loved, everything
Do you show them to her too?
Baby I know
That you’re not mine anymore
But I can’t help it, you are the one for me
You are the one
I miss you, I miss you so much I’m shaking
The more I think of you the further away you feel
If we could just go back to the way we were…
My love won’t reach you, my heart and feelings
I can wish to see you again but it won’t happen
The more I think of you the more it hurts
Even if it’s a lie, say to me once more
Like you did that day, “I love you…”
I love you, the truth is
I’m in love with you baby
I love you
But still I can’t tell my words of love
“I hope you find happiness”
I try to act like an adult in front of you
But inside my heart
I don’t feel that way at all
Baby I know
More about you than anyone else
So tell me why does it have to be her?
So tell me why
I miss you, I miss you so much I’m shaking
The more I think of you the further away you feel
If we could just go back to the way we were…
My love won’t reach you, my heart and feelings
I can wish to see you again but it won’t happen
The more I think of you the more it hurts
Even if it’s a lie, say to me once more
Like you did that day, “I love you…”
I said that I loved you so many times
So why is it like this?
Hold me in your arms
And gently say my name once more
I miss you, I miss you so much I’m shaking
The more I think of you the further away you feel
If we could just go back to the way we were…
My love won’t reach you, my heart and feelings
I can wish to see you again but it won’t happen
The more I think of you the more it hurts
Even if it’s a lie, say to me once more
Like you did that day, “I love you…”

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z46rwVTaal4

Wonder Girls - Like Money ft. Akon

Wonder Girls - Like Money ft. Akon 

love me like, like like love me like.. money..
love me like..
Aw,
listen to me now
My,  heart is streaming now , now
I’m trying to show you, how  to touch me..
i’m not  just a girl, i more precious than pearls
And i diserve all you got babe.
So it you’re gonna  hold me. Baby don’t let  got of me  ,give  me  all you’ve got i want everything, my heart  is a treasure, one that can’t be measured.
Let me teach you how to love me
love me like money, love me like cars
love me babe  love me babe whatever you are,
love be a close love me be from a fall.
love me like money, love me like cars
love me babe  love me babe whatever you are,
Hold me like diamonds
Treat me like a star
love me babe  love me babe whatever you are,
love me like money, love me like cars
love me babe, love me babe , whatever you are,
how kind my goddes dreaming like a star
love me babe, love me babe whatever you are..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quE6Cq4Q2bs